First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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