I will die if light touches me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you traded sex for a burrito?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
