Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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