I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
