Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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