Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Is Oprah even human
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
