Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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