we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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