Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
