you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
