Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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