Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
