like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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