I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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