my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
