Your face is a jimmy john
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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