I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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