i was rollin on her like bob the builder
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
