I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You don't make any sense
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