I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
