2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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