I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
