i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
