some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
