I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
