So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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