Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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