Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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