It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
