So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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