so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
