tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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