i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
