I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
