you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
