508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
