i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
