she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I need water and some morals
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize