Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
