Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
