I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
