i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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