You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
