he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Good news!! I can adult!! ๐ turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ๐ญ๐
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Well I told him Iโve got the flu....he said heโd wear a condom
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize