when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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