I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize