Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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