when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize