What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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