as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
