so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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