I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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