i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
