I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
