I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
