My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
