First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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