Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
