Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
