Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
