Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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