I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
