two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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