that's an acceptable place to lick
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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