Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
