just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
