Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize