i would punch a child for taco bell
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
