why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
