Is it because I queefed?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
