it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
