was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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